Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Great Garter Debate

To toss or not to toss? That is the question!

Are you tossing your garter at your wedding? Have you even stopped to think a minute about whether you actually want to or not? Or why you want to or dont want to?

Today, I'm posting both sides of the Great Garter Debate.
On the anti-garter toss side, me (Kalea)!
On the pro-garter toss side, we have Megan, a 2008 garter tosser!

First Megan:
When I got married, I decided that I wanted a mostly traditional wedding. I wanted the whole procession of bridesmaids in matching dresses, the groomsmen, I wanted the flower girl to toss petals, and for my dad to walk me down the aisle. It was what I had imagined as a little girl and it was what I was going to do. There was no talking me out of it! I hadn’t thought much of the other traditions, like the garter toss, and just went along with them as part of the celebration. Cutting (and smashing) the cake was fun and cheesy and it was even more fun tossing the bouquet to all my single gal pals to see who would be next in line to make her way down the aisle! However, I hadn’t given much thought to the retrieval of the garter when it came time for the next tradition of the celebration: the garter toss.

As a guest at other weddings I always thought it was so fun and somewhat freeing for the couple to go for it (I mean, when else is it acceptable for a man to go underneath a woman’s dress while people watched??). Everyone always laughs and hoots at the groom as he digs around for that lacy little article, but as a bride who didn’t prepare herself for this as her groom was under her skirt while her 94 year old grandpa was in attendance – I was totally shocked! I didn’t know what to do with myself as a pretty modest bride. I ended up covering my face and turning away from the crowd of lookie-loo’s while my new husband rooted around for an unnecessarily long time (or so I thought!).

(actual picture of Megan at her wedding!)
Looking back now, I still would have done the garter toss. As a mostly traditional bride, I think that it is important to keep up with traditions (obviously!) so that we remember how our elders and ancestors celebrated such an important event. Besides, why not give yourself a little leg up when it comes to good luck, even if it is just a myth that they actually work! My tip that I would give brides who are debating whether or not to toss would be to prepare yourself if you’re even a bit modest. Remember, your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, young cousins, and close family friends are going to be watching as your new hubby is hanging out under there. It had never occurred to me that his face would be hidden, whereas mine would give away whatever he was doing down there. Maybe practice a few different happy poker faces in the mirror before the big day – there will be pictures of it to remind you later! So good luck, brides, in deciding whether or not to toss!"

"I know it's tradition, but the garter toss creeps me out. I feel like having my new husband rooting around in my skirt is something I'd rather not have happen in front of our family. I can't imagine how uncomfortable my Dad would feel; he does not need to see a boy with his head up my dress! Additionally, how many of the single guys you invited to your wedding really want to catch the garter and "be the next one to get married"? Right! None of them! (their girlfriends or dates, maybe)

(I would sooner die. seriously!)

Thats not to say I don't plan on wearing one! Some garters are definitely not made to be tossed, but to be worn as a secret luxury for the bride (if an elastic band around one's thigh can be counted as such) and handed down to daughters and granddaughters... at least that's how it seems to me. I really like the idea of passing down a really pretty garter. For instance, Florriemitton on Etsy and Bleu Garters make to-die-for gorgeous garters that I can totally see myself wearing!

So, I'm not going to do it! I'm not doing a bouquet toss either. I read one story where the bride gave her Grandmother her bouquet because she was such an inspiration for the value of marriage - so thats exactly what I plan on doing. 

I am a huge fan of brides who take time and think through every element of their wedding and make the event truly theirs. Is there something that traditionally happens but you're not wild about? Then don't do it! Examine your wedding and reception and tailor it to be exactly what you want!"

Thanks Meg!

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